“A rice cooker will be thought to be an egret”
Sri Mapanji Jayabaya (or possible bad translation thereof)
The title is mostly full of shit but I thought it sounded kinda sticky and hence might catch a few of you opposable thumb primates out there. If you do, however have something to say from the perspective of the 7th story of Supermall, a speck of dust amongst Sutos floorboards or the exact amount of copper sold from HTC on any given day, feel free to divulge.
After doing not too much for a bit too long, as well as receiving little or no decent work offers back in Australia, I came upon the end of the year and wondered; well what what the hell is supposed to happen next. I’d applied for work as an unexperienced ESL teacher in Australia and abroad, threw in a few applications to work with Refugees in various locations within Australia and even one as case manager at one of our ever so efficient, fair and fantastic offshore processing centres, but no real bites on the line. Nothing was happening really, except for a bunch of travel photos from the past 3 years ending up on brother’s cafe walls. I’d also joined a dating site for the first time, for somewhat unknown reasons, and went on a grand number of two dates in three or four months. Woohoo, what an effervescent, dynamic life. To be honest though, I didn’t mind it, after having been on the road and traveling to random places across the globe for the past three years.
Just before Christmas I suddenly received 3 different offers and went from no mans land to having to make fairly large decisions in a heartbeat (or a few days anyway). Phnom Penh, Surabaya or Sydney? One paid a better rate, another had the best rate but the most expensive place to live, two had languages that I already spoke to some degree, one had a lot of traffic and yet easy ways out of the city by land or air, one had a sense of charm if not mystique purely by the fact that I knew nothing much about it, one paid my airfare, one was right on the beach.
“The nature of God is a circle of which the center is everywhere and the circumference is nowhere”
Thus meaning God doesn’t exist in the left hand side of your head.
∫ Paraphrased then imagined conversation about deeply religious matters »
A strange turbaned holy man on a donkey approached the neeb.
“Hello Neeb, has anyone ever tried to convert you?”
“Not really, surreptitiously perhaps, but never to my face.”
“Are you sure?”
“You mean about my face?”
“Yes. Your face.”
“Why, what’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing, I never said anything about your face.”
“So were you talking about your donkey whilst looking at me then?”
“No, I was talking to you.”
“To my face you mean?”
“Yes, to you face!” …..exasperated.
“Oh, very good. So what do you want again?”
“Has – any-one – ever – tried – to – con-vert – you – to – your – face?”
“Hmm, let’s see. To my face, no.”
“So you stand unconverted then?”
“Then where on earth do you stand neeb?”
“Where on earth? Right here. I stand right here on my ears!”
“On your ears?”
“Yes, on my ears you idiot, didn’t you hear me. I stand right here before God, on my ears. As such you have no need to convert my face as I can already hear every whisper of God. Get back on your donkey you buffoon.”
The turbaned holy man rode away in a state of cerebral disfigurement, whilst his donkey laughed (though the holy man couldn’t hear it).